Waaaaaaaa! So when did it become unfashionable to be late?! Isn’t this Los Angeles? Every girl deserves a get out of jail free card when it comes to glamming up and going out, but what’s the expiration date on that card? Then there’s that little inconvenience we all know and love…ummm yea, I’m talking about LA traffic. Ok, so maybe you see where I am going with this. I admit that occasionally I can be tardy, mmmmmm…..okay, okay, so maybe it’s starting to become more of a nasty habit. The nervous sweating, panic and heart palpitations are distinct symptoms of my tardy-syndrome and the frequency with which I experience these symptoms is increasing at an alarming rate. I even set my clocks 20 minutes ahead to mentally prep myself and give myself the appearance of more time. Perhaps I’ve been in denial for a little too long when it comes to my non-life threatening condition.

Last night I expressed my concern about my tardy-syndrome to my boyfriend, who by the way is never late.  He immediately pointed out that setting my clocks 20 minutes fast was a bad idea and that if I actually had them set to the real time, my tardy-syndrome would go into remission. Later that night my boyfriend made crystal clear that he needed to be at work extra early and out the door by 7:45am. This means that instead of our usual 8am wake-up—which typically means 8:30am courtesy of Mr. Snooze Button, he needed to be up by 7am. So, guess what happens next….

I turn over and look at my alarm and it reads 7:18am! I realize that I either didn’t set it properly or hit the snooze button on accident. I shake my boyfriend awake and yell “Miiiiiike, get up! Get up! The alarm didn’t go off!”  Mike scurries out of bed like a headless chicken and into the bathroom. Ok, so what’s the big deal? Since my clocks are fast doesn’t that mean it was really 7am? Yes, but that’s not the point I guess. While Mike did make it out of my apartment by 7:45am, he was not very happy with me. The air was thick with tension this morning and I felt like a bad puppy who pooped in the corner just waiting for its owner to find it.

I’ve been setting my clocks ahead for so long that I’ve created a samskara. In yoga philosophy, samskaras (link) are impressions or memories that result from past actions that have been repeated over and over again, i.e. habits. Initially I felt a pang of panic whenever I glanced at the clock, which was the whole point of my brilliant plan. These days I look at my clock and I’m fully aware of the fact that I have a 20-minute cushion, but therein lies my dilemma. I’ve done the complete opposite of what I set out to accomplish. I created a false sense of security.

The joke was on the Sooz and I learned an invaluable lesson. Step one in the Tardy-Anonymous Program is admitting my tardiness. I’m now hyperaware of my relationship with time. Turning the clocks ahead literally distorted my perception of real time creating a bad habit or a samskara. The only way to squash the samskara is to refine the opposing samskara, which means turning the clocks back and springing into real time.